I’ve been very quiet lately. Very. Quiet. It’s been an interesting, but good, past 7 months. I have finally (almost) overcome my struggles with PPD and anxiety (more on that later) and have rediscovered myself again. I have learned some new things, let go of some old things, downsized, de-junked my life. I feel good about where I am now as opposed to 3 or 4 months ago. Much of what I have discovered about myself was shocking, but in most ways comforting because I feel more okay with myself than I ever have in a very, very long time.
I have learned the very valuable lesson of simplicity. In a world of over-scheduling and social media it is easy to get lost in all the wrong things, meaningless things. I had started to resent all the cute ideas on Pinterest that I was collecting because I couldn’t get around to them, or I had been relying so much on Facebook and texting for my socializing that I lost connection with the real world. I found myself saying “I talked to so-and-so the other day” when the reality was that I had texted so-and-so. Although both are a form of communication, the last time I checked texting and talking are very different types of communication. I missed hearing someone’s voice. I missed watching facial expressions and connecting emotionally. More than missing it I knew I needed it. After a short break from FB and breaking up with Pinterest for a while I forced myself to be in the company of people, albeit a select few. What a difference it made for me. I had realized the importance of face-to-face contact, or hearing the gentleness of a friend’s voice. Making that change in my life was some of the best therapy I’ve had. Ever.
Another important thing I have learned is that it’s okay to not be involved in everything. Seriously. It’s okay. There was a point in time that I was feeling like a underachiever of a mother because my daughter was not signed up for any sport activity or dance lessons, not in a preschool or joy school, nor was I filling up our schedule with play-dates. I really had felt like a loser. A big, anti-social loner who doesn’t care about entertaining my children. But that is not so. My daughter puts on her pretend dance clothes and prances around the house all day long – for free. We go to the park and kick around a soccer ball. Also for free. We do play with friends on occasion when we have some free time. I take them to the gym several times a week and they play with friends there, some of which my daughter has known since birth. Really, it’s okay that I haven’t loaded my schedule with things to do and places to be. I wasn’t okay with that before, but I feel quite fine with it now. I see my children and how happy they are. They are loved, cared for, entertained. They don’t know that they are not in dance classes, soccer practice or preschool. None of those matter right now.
I have been through several rounds of de-junking my living space. Do I need it? Do I want it? Is this important to me? Will I need it in three months, six months? Does it make me happy? If the answer is NO it was gone, baby. Gone. And it feels sooo good. I’m currently on round 3 of de-junking. I’m done with saving things, unnecessarily cluttering my life with ‘things’. I have never been a hoarder or pack-rat, but it’s amazing that I keep finding things that I don’t need or use to get rid of, and it’s a great feeling to have them out of my life.
Simplify. It’s been a good thing. So good that I’ve spent more quality time with my family, and more time focusing on becoming more aware of my needs. Yes, that is right. Me. Me, me, me. For several months after my son was born I forgot about me and it ended up not such a good thing. Now that I have found a better balance in my life I am happier and feel more fulfilled with less in my life.
Now that I have explained the reason for my silence I’m gearing up to share some things that I have discovered that have brought me joy, balance, and a brighter outlook on life. Surprisingly, I can say that less is more. More time to enjoy, discover and share, which I intend to do with you. Check back soon. I’m planning on writing a big post about the many ways I use coconut oil, my new love.
Keeping life simple,